


Moira Is Making Aberrations On Patreon

by NotAWerewolf42



Series: NotAWerewolf's One-Shots [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Inspired By Tumblr, Moira lives under a rock, Post-Talon Widowmaker | Amélie Lacroix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 10:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14018172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotAWerewolf42/pseuds/NotAWerewolf42
Summary: Sombra, in a bid to rid herself of Moira, introduces her to the world of crowdfunding, where the mad scientist can get the funding she needs for completely necessary experiments. Such as giving rabbits ghost powers.





	1. Chapter 1

“Alas, this has become so dull.” Moira moaned, resting her head on the back of her chair and staring up at the ceiling of Sombra’s makeshift office.

The disgraced scientist had barged into Sombra’s office uninvited, and complained for nearly an hour to the hacker, who was not even sure what Moira was complaining about. She had gone on about Talon’s unwillingness to further support her inane experiments, not willing to fund anything that didn’t directly aid the organization’s needs. The one experiment that she had been working on, the only one Moira had deemed ‘fun’, had disappeared overnight to spend her time with Overwatch’s poster girl, though only Sombra knew the whole truth of that. Moira had considered Widowmaker one of her finest works, and had been devastated by the loss of her resident guinea pig. And no one else in Talon was willing to volunteer to become her new one.

“So go back to Oasis.” Sombra replied, desperately trying to get Moira out of her hair. She had tried her usual method of blackmail, but Moira wore her secrets like a badge of honour. “I’m sure they’d take you back for your crazy experiments.”

“Those fools have found a new minister to replace me, that idiotic D'Aboville. That man is nothing but a chancer, swindling funds that should be for my research. I shan't return to those imbeciles” Moira returned, clicking her long nails against the closest desk to entertain herself.

Sombra sighed, her main plan to rid herself of the scientist foiled by her rampant narcissism. “Well then I don’t know what you want  _ loca _ , because you are not putting shit in me!” she said testily, turning in her chair to face the woman she had been trying to ignore.

“I don’t see why not…” Moira began, watching Sombra intently, an expression Sombra could only read as a disturbed hunger. “... I’m sure there are plenty of people who would pay to be my subject.” she continued as Sombra tried to subtly put more distance between the two.

“So go crowdfund it or something.” Sombra snapped, agitated by Moira’s attempts to experiment on her.

Moira’s expression changed, to the relief of Sombra, to one of pure confusion. “Crowdfund?” she questioned.

“You know, Kickstarter, Patreon, something like that?” Sombra replied, unaware that someone living in the year 2077 could possibly be blind to crowdfunding. When Moira continued giving her a confused look, she sighed. “Oh my god, how old are you? People pay you money to create stuff, you reward your backers, and everybody is happy, how have you not heard of this?”

“I see. And what do I reward them with?”

“I dunno, the results of your research? Whatever crazy-ass thing it is you make?”

Moira considered this for a few moments. “Where do I find this crowdfunding?”

“On the internet! Ugh, let me pull it up for you.” Sombra moaned, pulling up a screen to Patreon. As the Moira looked over the page, Sombra began to ponder. Would people support Moira? Better yet, what exactly would Moira do in return? Mail out serums? Videos of rabbits given strange powers? If this worked, Moira might plunge herself into a strange sort of infamy: the crazy woman on the internet who makes abominations for money.

_ This _ …, Sombra thought,  _... might be interesting. _


	2. Chapter 2

Update, posted 2077/04/15

By moiraodeorain

 

Greeting to all my loyal patrons. Sombra has informed me that I must thank you for your support. I told her that the assigned backer rewards are enough, but she insisted that if I did not thank you, she would sabotage this page. I am not certain how exactly she would go about that, but given her existing skill at hacking I’m sure she could.

Nevertheless, updates. With regards to Bunny Phantom, a serious issue has occurred that I could not have foreseen: he cannot be kept in his existing cage, as he has phased through it each time I have tried to place him inside. Despite responding to physical touch of my hands, he appears to be able to pass through metal with ease. For reasons unknown, he has kept within the confines of the lab however.

For my $10 patrons, the latest batch of serums have been mailed out. As before, it is expected that all patrons test the serum, and fill in the included reporting sheet. I thank those who have filled and returned the report from last month, the results of which are being used to improve the solution, which I have nicknamed “Jack-o-Lantern”. The effects will most likely wear off after just a few months.

Ah, and an update to Snuffles. After several tests, I’ve found that her ability to fly is extremely limited, unable to rise against gravity, simply keeping the altitude she has been given by an outside source. Rather than the intended effect of a concentrated laser from the eyes, what occurred was an extremely weak beam. She has been able to shine bright red light on surfaces she looks at, but the effect is no stronger than a regular light bulb. Further experimentation will be required.

And a message to those who have complained about my experiments: Science will always require sacrifice. My experiments will improve the human condition. I am not concerned with your petty morals.

As well, neither Bunny Phantom or Snuffles appear to have any distaste for the advancements I have given them. Snuffles in particular will continue to rub against any humans she comes in contact with, regardless of altitude, as Sombra can confirm.

Slán abhaile

-Moira O’Deorain

**PS To those who reported Moira to Patreon: I know where you live, and you should expect dozens of food deliveries to your homes. Have fun. -sombruh**

 

* * *

 

 

“This is too easy.” Moira said, leaning back in her chair after writing the month’s update for her patrons. The scientist had managed to rack up a good number of willing people who would support her experiments. Not enough to truly support everything she wanted to create, but Talon’s payroll, boring as it was, still continued to give her a lab to work in.

After Sombra had introduced Moira to crowdfunding, the hacker had helped her set up her page, and continued to help her keep the income rolling, and had even assisted her in some of her experiments. Moira was initially confused by Sombra’s willingness to help. She had known that the hacker had suggested the idea to get rid of her. But now it seemed Sombra was intent on making certain the experiments continued. Moira had a hypothesis though:

Sombra enjoyed working with fuzzy animals.

She would not admit it, which was not unlike the hacker’s nature, but Moira had noticed how much time Sombra spent with the animals, and how she insisted on being the one to run tests. When asked, Sombra had told Moira that she wanted to ensure that the scientist wouldn’t do anything to hurt the animals, but Moira wasn’t a sociopath: she wouldn’t hurt animals without a reason, and no more than would be necessary. But Sombra insisted, and Moira found that having the second pair of hands helped ensure better results and faster completion times, so she allowed it.

Though she wished the hacker would stop leaving messages to her patrons. The Patreon was meant to be where experimental observations were documented, not for Sombra to post pictures of her furry experiments. Although Moira was amused when Sombra managed to capture an image of Reaper, after Sombra had managed to sneak the Jack-o-Lantern formula into the Talon assassin’s food. The bright light shining out of Reaper’s mouth was entertaining to see, only trumped by the anger evident on his face. How Sombra managed to avoid being killed by the man was a mystery that Moira wanted to solve someday.

Moira got up from her desk chair, and began making her way over to the pen in which her rabbits were kept. Figuring out the intrinsic mysteries of Sombra would have to wait, she had other matters to attend to. “Come here Vesemir. Let’s see if we can’t get you breathing fire.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -NotAWerewolf42, beta'd by nival-kenival
> 
> Slán abhaile(Gaelic) - goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> -NotAWerewolf42, beta'd by nival-kenival


End file.
